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August 2010 - Posts

Where Spot fixing is a daily routine

Scene – Court in session

 

The well reviled Judge HM St. Watson opens the proceedings

 

JSW - In today’s case viz., State v Namya we have very serious charges laid out against the defendant. He is accused of the heinous crime of Spot Fixing. Namya declined any legal assistance and will represent himself. Do you plead Guilty or not guilty?

 

Namya - “Not Guilty Your Honour”

 

JSW - If the allegations are true then you will deservedly get a life ban from conducting any cricket related blogging activity.

 

Namya – But Your Honour, the trial has just started, so why are you passing such harsh punishment off the cuff at such an early juncture?

 

JSW – Mate, I said ‘IF’ the allegations are true. In our culture, we never get caught. I don’t know how it is in your culture but in ours we RESPECT Judges even if they don’t have the authority to pass judgment.

 

The public prosecutor gets up from his chair. Sir Paul Condone has a reputation for not condoning any misdeeds and is a highly respected prosecutor partly due to his work and partly due to his nationality.

 

PC – Your Honour, I hope you leave the ‘verbally flogging the accused act’ to me.  The accused who stands in front of us today has allegedly committed the most dastardly act of Spot Fixing and I intend to prove it beyond all reasonable doubt to the court. We, the righteous of the right, with spotless conscience, have been betrayed by an act so brazen and full of immorality that our entire world has turned upside down. Lucre has killed all that is good and praiseworthy by a single act of loathsome proportions. We…

 

Namya – Err. Can I say something? I think there’s some misunderstanding here about ‘Spot Fixing’.  I didn’t…

 

JSW (with tears in his eyes) banging his fists on the table – Silence!!!! How dare you interrupt this brilliant speech? Is this what they teach in your culture?

 

Namya – But Sir..

 

JSW (ignoring Namya) – Please continue Sir PC

 

PC – I will ask the accused to come to the witness box please. Namya, is it true that you had gone to London this summer during the England – Bangladesh series?

 

Namya – Yes.  But I am an Indian. And for your information India and Bangladesh are separate countries. I didn’t go there to watch the cricket. I just went there as a tourist and to meet family.

 

JSW - Are you trying to tell us Namya that we don’t understand your culture? Don’t we know that in your culture you respect elders and will do anything they order you to do? Don’t we know that it’s in your culture to get tied up with something that is damaging to cricket and to the individuals?

 

Namya (wondering who exactly, is the prosecutor) - Sir, isn’t it a bit too presumptuous?

 

JSW (flustered) – Using heavy words isn’t going to help you Namya.

 

 PC –Allow me your honour. And being a South Asian male visiting England during the cricket season, the Scotland Yard had kept a watch on you.

 

Namya – But why was I kept under a watch?

 

PC – In our quest to rid cricket of all illegal activities, we found that most innocent cricketers have been approached by bookies in England. And most of the bookies are Indians.

 

Namya - Why are all these contacts made in England? Is it because there is a legalised betting system there? Is it because criminal elements operate their money laundering schemes through winnings from the bookmakers? And why am I being targeted just for being a person from the subcontinent?”

 

PC - It’s a jolly good question, I must say. It’s all a fault of those underworld bookies from your subcontinent and nothing to do with our legalized betting system. People bet in our country for pure fun. We have never had any underworld elements involved in betting.

 

 Namya (sarcastically) - Yeah, I believe you.

 

 PC – Scotland Yard had bugged your room and we have a recording here which proves that you had predicted in one of your conversations that Ashrafool would get out playing an irresponsible shot. How much money did you put on it and how much was passed to Ashrafool?”

 

Namya - Are you serious? I mean, I never bet on any of this. And tell me how many times in his career, has Ashrafool got out defending a good ball? And I was just mentioning it to my friend in jest.

 

PC – You may be taking this lightly now but believe you me, you won’t get off lightly.

 

PC – We have a witness statement of a 14 year old Australian Boy Brad who testifies that the accused approached him with a view to influencing the result of a cricket match.

 

Namya – What? I was watching some young kids playing a match in the neighborhood garden and during a short break I went and complimented a couple of boys who had really played well. That’s all. For god’s sake, it was only a kid’s game. Why would I want to influence it?

 

PC - Brad doesn’t remember it that way Namya. He claims there was something very fishy in the way you asked him to leave the ball outside off. He is a sharp boy that Brad. Let’s visit the most crucial part of our evidence. Let me reveal Namya’s proclaimed profession. He works in a Bank. He claims to be a career banker m’lord. The same bankers who have looted nations, changed the world as we knew. There are few professions which are more reviled today than his.

 

Namya - But we didn’t bring the system down. It was the US consumer’s unending appetite for credit and the Fed’s easy liquidity that led to the bubble and....

 

PC (ignoring him totally) - We have a key witness who claims that you were talking on your phone and promising your client a Spot Fixing. Now tell me Sir. Were you or were you not doing this?

 

Namya – Yes I was. I did promise the guy that his USD 10MM would be converted at the spot fixing rate.

 

Stunned silence in the court.

 

Namya – But everyone does it. It happens in India. It happens in Japan. It’s even done in Europe and London. Even the Aussie is fixed. But it’s not the way you…

 

JSW (interrupting him) – This is ridiculous. It’s not in our DNA. It’s not in our culture. How can you even suggest such sacrilege?

 

There’s chaos in the court.

 

Namya (continuing) -  ...you think. Sir it’s not the kind of spot fixing that is in the limelight at present. This spot fixing is related to foreign exchange markets. Since global trade is done in various currencies and there are thousands of documents like Letters of Credit, export bills which need to be settled at a particular settlement time. So in very simple terms various currency pair rates are fixed at pre specified times throughout the day. And I was promising my client that I would assure him the spot fixing rate. As soon as some banking novice heard this he contacted the police and I was straight away brought to this very fair and unbiased trial even though I kept on trying to explain that there was a misunderstanding.

 

PC – Well m’lord. I have nothing to say then. I don’t think we should let the accused go scot-free.

 

JSW (utterly disappointed) -  In that case I will sentence you to 3 days of reading all fixing related articles in the Australian for wasting this court’s time.

 

Namya (panic stricken) – Not that. Please spare me. Don’t subject me to such cruelty.

 

He is dragged away forcibly by the police.

 

JSW – Ok. So the next case is State v Shaadi.com. The defendant has been accused of match fixing and I promise everyone that if found guilty…

 

And thus the court proceedings continue

 

 

 

 

 

Here are some links that explain Spot fixing in the currency markets

 
The first ball of the third Over

 

For those not in the know,this is Mohd. Amir's no ball at Lord's as predicted by a clairvoyant agent (supposedly before it was bowled). A few captions came to mind. Readers can add their own.


  • One small step for man, a massive dive for Cricket
  • The glorious certainty of Cricket
  • If you are broke, Fix it
  • A mir(thless) future awaits or does it?
  • Where's the proof?

Let's wait and watch how the ICC, PCB and the cricketing world react to this by-now most infamous no ball in Cricket (yes! even more infamous than the Randiv one or will that no-ball be looked at differently now?).

 

Bloated egos Ms. Ugra?

Original Cartoon Courtsey - Eric Allie

This is exactly what Ms Ugra would be thinking now :)

Arjun Atwal puts it in ConText

 One of the main reasons for the soaring popularity of Text messaging was that it was a cheaper way of communication compared to a voice call. When David Beckham sent his first raunchy Text message to Rebecca Loos he thought to himself, ‘Gee, I saves 30 pence if I text. Why waste money on a phone call?’

Many sports stars followed Beckham’s thought process (which post facto, seems like the perfect illustration of ‘Penny-wise Pound foolish’) preferring texting as a communication method to give vent to their inner carnal desires. Shane Warne, Cashley Cole and Tiger Woods (to name a few users known in the public domain), all caught indulging in ‘Consensual Text’.

But as we all know, these seemingly ‘cheap’ messages cost a fortune to some in terms of lost endorsements, created havoc in their marital lives and in one case lead to a divorce as well. In almost all cases the recipients of the text messages made a small fortune by making the contents public. In the Beckham story a snooping nanny benefited from his excessively itchy fingers. It can be safely claimed that never in the history of literature did each word fetch as much as in the above mentioned cases.

Apple always being at the forefront of technology and charging a bomb for it , came up with an application aptly named TigerText on its iPhone. The application allows users to send self destructing Text messages so as to not leave any proof but isn’t a foolproof solution to the star senders’ misdemeanors.

All the prohibitive costs that Tiger had to bear for his texting habits haven’t deterred him from continuing with his addiction. And even now the recipients of his text messages seem to be making BIG money out of it. Just 2 days back Arjun Atwal, Tiger’s practice partner, won the Wyndham Championship and pocketed a cool $ 918,000. All it took was daily text messages from Tiger advising him what numbers to shoot the next day.

Following are the excerpts from Arjun Atwal’s interview after winning the Wyndham Open

Q. Did you talk to him or was that a text?

ARJUN ATWAL: Text. It's all texts. We never talk.

Q. Why not?

ARJUN ATWAL: He's just busy, I guess

Congratulations, Arjun Atwal for becoming the first Indian golfer to win on the US PGA tout and also thank you for giving us one more reason as to why sports celebrities send Text messages rather than calling up on phone Smile

Greg Chappell version 1.99

Guru Greg lecturing about the 'Spirit of Cricket' to his brightest student Trevor (2nd from right)

The Cricket market witnessed the unveiling of a new Greg Chappell version 1.99 yesterday. Some key features of the new software are highlighted below

  • Quicker spotting of statistical errors especially those related to rankings
  • Has been ranked # 1 in its peer group (rightly or wrongly)
  • Has an inane ability to irk competition
  • The earlier version promoted under hand dealings later deemed illegal. The new version prefers no balls which is perfectly legal
  • Has performed exceptionally well in the domestic markets
  • Has a team named after it (King's XI)
  • Greg Chappell 1.99 has a very strong Anti Viru S package

 

 

 

Don't bother, Zola Budd!

One of the haunting memories of sport in one's childhood happened 26 years back on the day. Athletics was just entering in one's stream of sports consciousness as one had started training for the school Athletics team just around that time. Being in possession of a rather small and frail frame, an exotic and wildly exciting career in sprinting seemed impossible to pursue. But middle distance running seemed more suited and running bare footed on tracks was a daily chore.

Even in those days of restricted sports coverage in media one was made aware of this eagerly awaited clash between the then two best middle distance female atheletes in Los Angeles 1984. The 3000 m race was touted to be a two horse race between Zola Budd and Mary Decker.

One was happily ignorant about all the controversies surrounding Zola Budd. Apartheid as a concept was too complex for a young mind. And the political cynicism displayed by Britain in fast tracking her application for British citizenship was not grasped by the innocence of childhood. One was perfectly clear in where one's loyalties lay. Zola Budd!

What happened on this day almost 3 decades ago is still etched in one's mind. The jury is still out on who was to be faulted. And one has no insight to add to that episode. The accident changed the trajectories of 2 lives permanently. And the tragic failure in achieving Olympic glory after putting years of struggle, both physical and mental, was once again high lighted.

This article in Sports Illustrated reproduced below is a tribute to both these fabulous athletes.

After another half lap, Mary Decker would begin a long, ever quickening drive to the finish. She had led the women's Olympic 3,000-meter final from the gun, first at world-record pace, then slowing a second or so every lap. The last had taken her 71 seconds, bringing the field past 1,600 meters in 4:36.

She had shaken no one. Zola Budd of Great Britain and Maricica Puic of Romania, her most heralded opponent and her most dangerous one, respectively, ran second and third.

Decker felt fine. Her sore right Achilles tendon, which had required a cortisone injection in July, was operating smoothly. Her semifinal win in 8:44.38 had been, as she put it, "Effortless. Except for Lynn Williams [of Canada] stepping on my heel four times."

"She was looking for about an 8:29 pace in the final," said her coach, *** Brown. (The world record is 8:26.78, by Syvetlana Ulmasova of the U.S.S.R., who, of course, wasn't in L.A..) "With a kilometer to go, she would begin picking it up." This was similar to the tactic Decker had used to win the world championship 3,000 last year in Helsinki, but there she had started her drive 600 meters out. In Los Angeles she planned to go the last 1,000 because she was stronger now, because Puic?, the current world cross-country champion and mile-record holder (4:17.44), would produce a respectable kick if it weren't run out of her, and because these were the Olympics.

Decker had never run in an Olympic race. In 1972 she was too young, only 14. In 1976 she was injured. In 1980 the Carter boycott stymied her. But these Games were her own, in the city where she'd grown up. "Finally it all seems so perfect," she'd said.

That last brutal kilometer would begin in about 300 meters, on the backstretch. Now, as Decker relaxed, gathering herself, the slight, pale, barefoot, 92-pound form of Budd again came even with her. Budd had been outside Decker's right shoulder almost from the start, and Decker knew it. They had bumped elbows at 500 meters, a result of Budd's wide-swinging arm action, and Decker had shot her a sharp look.

Budd had sensed the slowing pace and didn't like it. Her training and temperament combine to make her natural race one of constantly increasing pressure. She and her coach, Pieter Labuschagne, knew that she couldn't kick with a fresh Decker or Puic?. If she was to run her best in this Olympic final, the pace would have to go faster. So she passed Decker on the turn, just after 1,600 meters. Decker felt her uncomfortably close. "She was cutting in on the turn, without being near passing," Decker would say.

By the end of the turn, Budd appeared to have enough margin to cut in without interfering with Decker's stride, but instead she hung wide, on the outside of Lane 1, as they came into the stretch.

Decker was near the rail, a yard behind Budd. Budd's teammate, Wendy Sly, had come up to third, off Budd's shoulder, and Puic? was fourth, tucked in tight behind Decker, waiting.

Decker sensed Budd drifting to the inside. "She tried to cut in without being, basically, ahead," Decker would say. But Decker didn't do what a seasoned middle-distance runner would have done. She didn't reach out to Budd's shoulder to let her know she was there, too close behind for Budd to move to the pole.

Instead, Decker shortened her stride for a couple of steps. There was contact. Decker's right thigh grazed Budd's left foot. Budd took five more strides, slightly off balance. Trying to regain control, she swayed in slightly to the left. Decker's right foot struck Budd's left calf, low, just above the Achilles tendon. Budd's left leg shot out, and she was near falling.

But Decker was falling, tripped by that leg all askew. "To keep from pushing her, I fell," she would say. She reached out after Budd, inadvertently tearing the number from her back and went headlong across the rail onto the infield.

Decker's competitiveness is without limit. "My first thought was, 'I have to get up,' " she said. But when she tried, "It felt like I was tied to the ground." She had a pulled gluteus, the hip stabilizer muscle. Only then, understanding that she couldn't go on, with the field past and the medical attendants and her fiancee, Richard Slaney, running across the track to her, did the anguish come. Hers was the horrible realization that once again, in the race she'd been denied by injury and boycott for eight years, she was being denied any chance of a conclusion of her own making.

She who had been hurt so often, for whom the sensation of raw exhaustion is a joy compared with the misery of not being able to run, was hurt again, three laps from the end of overcoming all of that hurt. And as that crashed in on her, she lay writhing and screaming on the infield, her face hideously expressive of the wild rage of her reaction.

Budd, who had kept her feet, maintained the lead and increased the pace. Boos rained on her. She had tears coursing down her face, this woman-child perfectionist who already had gone through so much trauma simply to be here. She had left friends and farm and studies in South Africa to claim the citizenship that was hers because her father is of British descent. And in so doing, she had become the center of a storm of debate over whether these two things could be reconciled: prohibiting South Africa any place in international sport until apartheid is no more, and letting a slender, shy girl test the extent of her talent.

Decker and Budd were seared into Olympic history in the minutes that followed, the woman in agony on the ground and the frightened little deer running on, desperately trying to squeeze away the thought that it was all ruined, this race that she had overturned her pleasantly sheltered life for, trying just to run, to go her hardest, because that was what always worked, that was what she knew, that was what she was made to do.

But she had so little left. With a lap to go, Sly and Puic? were running away from her. Puic? then bolted out alone over the last 250 meters, winning in 8:35.96. Sly was second in 8:39.47, and Williams third in 8:42.14. Budd faded badly, crossing the line seventh in 8:48.80.

Slaney walked the limping, sobbing Decker across the track and then lifted her into his arms as they entered the tunnel. Budd found her way there a few moments later, desperately wanting to somehow make clear that she had intended none of this horror. She admired Decker enormously. Above her bed, back in the Afrikaans town of Bloemfoentein, she had kept a picture of her. In San Diego, before the Olympics, she had spoken of Decker, saying, "It would be wonderful to be so pretty."

Decker saw Budd coming. "Don't bother," she snarled, waving her off. Budd, mortified, was assisted by Britain's's Mary Peters, the 1972 Olympic pentathlon champion, to the medical area, to have her bleeding ankle bandaged. On the way back to the UCLA Olympic Village, British team manager Nick Whitehead sought to cheer her. "I just said that it was her first Olympics and she ought to be proud," he said. "All she said was, 'How's Mary?' "

By then, of course, a great cacophony had arisen over whose fault this wreck of a race was. An umpire seated along the track had signaled a foul, and referee Andy Bakjian disqualified Budd for obstructing Decker. The British team manager protested the disqualification, so the matter went to the jury of appeals.

Fifth-placer Cornelia B�rki of Switzerland, who was also born in South Africa, said, "When you're behind, you're the one to have to watch out. It was Mary's fault."

This doesn't mean that a leader can swerve in with impunity, but that in the give and take of pack running, athletes learn to make allowances. "You're supposed to be one stride ahead before you can cut in," said Eammon Coghlan of Ireland, the world indoor mile-record holder. "But this happens all the time. You have to protect yourself out there."

Neither Decker nor Budd has ever had much experience racing in the pack. Decker, though 26, can count on one hand the number of races in which she has had to maneuver in tight quarters. Her main concern with other runners on the track has been in lapping them. So she has never needed finely honed protective reflexes.

"Perhaps it was inexperience on Zola's part," said Coghlan. "Perhaps it was being too ladylike on Mary's part. You can't blame either one." The jury of appeals, after watching videotape from six angles, saw it that way, too. Budd was reinstated.

The last person Budd would ever want to hurt is Decker. The reverse may not be quite true, but the essential thing seemed not motive—"Mary doesn't feel that Zola did it intentionally," said Brown a day later—but the waste of all the preparation both had invested in this race.

At another level, both seemed to be getting punished for elements deep in their characters. Six years ago Decker said, "If it comes down to a choice between causing pain or taking it, I'll take it." That certainly seemed to be operating in the split second when she had to decide whether to push or fall.

And Budd, so shy, so much a symbol of the runner as one trying to flee, is now the one caught in yet another maelstrom.

But both picked themselves up. Rather than being dejected, Budd was said to be a little testy the next day. "She's not too happy with Mary's reaction," said British coach Frank ***. "It wasn't her fault. She knows that."

Decker went back to her hotel after a tearful press conference and lifted a glass with some friends. "Here's to Zurich," she said, naming the locale where she plans to race next, on Aug. 22. "And here's to Cologne and Paris [Aug. 26 and Sept. 4]...and here's to Seoul in '88."

There was a very nice article in The Guardian on Zola Budd 20 years down the line. For those interested, they can have a read here

Harbhajan without a turban

This HWAT (Harbhajan Without A Turban) is a bit different in some aspects from the original Mr. Nice Guy -

  • He bowls a bit faster than Bhajji
  • He can speak better English
  • He never gets caught doing inappropriate things
  • In the unlikely event of his getting caught while doing inappropriate things, he never gets punished
  • In the unlikely event of his getting punished which follows only in the unlikely event of his being caught, he gets off with the lightest possible punishment.

As a clarification, its not Matt Prior that one is referring to :). All that he does is ask innocent questions to Tendulkar about the brand of the car he drives.

Thank You Team India!
What promised to be a 90%-10% chance day favoring Sri Lanka to win the 3rd Test turned out to be the underdog’s supporters’ delight. Jayasuriya it seems had predicted these odds and frankly one was equally pessimistic about India’s chances going into the 5th day. Another 200+ to win on a tricky pitch with 7 wickets in hand was always going to be challenging. 

 

This post is not going to be about how the day was won. Of course VVS played a master class (aided ably in the second half of his innings by Viru’s running). But the one thing that seems different in this Indian team is that strength of character. Someone invariably stands up to be counted.

 

 It was VVS today. It was Sachin against England chasing 380 odd, SRT and Raina partnership in the 2nd Test, the bowling and the batting in the second innings in the 1st Test against Bangladesh, the Kolkata revival against South Africa after timidly folding up to Dale Steyn or even the Harbhajan/ Zak partnership in the Australia tour of India in the 1st Test at Bangalore. Then one forgets the Gautam Gambhir factor in New Zealand. That state of Nirvana in which he played that he innings for almost 2 days was unforgettable. And there is always the Sehwag factor and the number of times he has been instrumental to the team’s success.  

The ICC #1 Test Ranked team in the world got that ranking for some decent performances which people seem to forget. This is in no way implying that as a Test team India has progressed enormously over the last 24 months. In fact things have gotten worse in the bowling department. tBut this team has managed to survive and more times than not, succeed in tight contests. As an Indian fan one has seen too many heart rending losses. Close ones at that. One is sure that we may see some in the future as well. Especially with the Colossuses in the middle order set to lay down their arms. But we can worry about that later. Now is the time to savour the victory.

One would like to thank this Indian Test team for the joy it has given us over the last 3-4 years. The Team may have lost matches but it never gave up. They may not be the most dominant team in the world but it will surely try it’s darnedest hard to be a good tough one.

"Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character." – (John Wooden. Not me Smile )

The Adam Sandler of Indian Cricket

Scene: A group of prisoners lodged in a jail in Sri Lanka discussing their predicament.

Prisoner 1: “I can’t believe that they have put me in jail.”

Prisoner 2: “Just think of it as your Dream level #1 in Inception. In reality you are sitting with Katrina Kaif sipping nice hot Rasam.”

Prisoner 1: “I wish I could. But all these lathi marks on my a** feel too real. And to think that all I did was called Yuvi a waterboy. I mean was I wrong in asking that question to him? He is a boy (a very well fed boy perhaps). He was carrying water and he does look a bit like Adam Sandler.”

Prisoner 2: “Atleast that shows that Yuvi having a thick body need not lead to his being thick skinned.”

Prisoner 3 : “All that shows is that Yuvi is a cry baby. But listen to my offence. I advised Mishra that just because he was taken in place of Bhajji, he need not bowl as badly as him”

Prisoner 2: “Both you guys still have some reason to be in jail. My only fault was that I asked how fruitful would a Mahila and Randiv partnership be? I always thought that the V in Randiv was silent.”

P 4: “But can they throw you in a prison for asking pertinent questions on a cricket field?”

P 5 (A Sardar): “I asked the same question and as soon as the police heard the word ‘throw’, they thought I was Bishen and here I am. What was your offence?”

P 4: “I asked if Sanga felt that the ICC Test batting rankings are unfair now that he is #1. He thought that my comments were unfair and promptly set the police on me.”

P 6: “I was caught for asking Ishant when he was close to the boundary why WAS he in the playing XI? He rushed crying to Gary K to ask him the same question. Gary K had no answer to it. So he set the police on me to avoid being asked any more uncomfortable questions.”

P 7 making an impassioned plea : “Isn’t it a crime to play on dead pitches? Isn’t it a crime to start a Test match on Mondays and Tuesdays? Isn’t it a crime to have irritating commentators say Crikutt? Isn’t it a crime to have Mathews in the team? But no! The police will arrest people committing no crime instead.”

P 1: “We all completely agree friend. What was your alleged offence?”

P 7: “You twits!. It was all because of you. I was the only other paying spectator on the ground. It would be very embarrassing for the police to let me sit there alone and watch the match quietly. I was sleeping peacefully during the Mahela – Samarveera partnership. The police said that I couldn’t sleep when the Lankans are batting.”