It feels good to hit someone like Dravid
There’s this extremely fast and furious (run up only) gentleman called Shahadat who has laid bare the Bangladesh strategy to take on India. The plan is simple, yet effective. They have discovered the weakness of every Indian batter and have stuck to the plan admirably. They also have planned various methods of tackling the Indian bowlers.
Let’s start with the Indian batters first –
Sehwag – Can’t handle the short ball well. Bowl short. Even the spinners have to bowl short to him. Don’t disclose his weakness to the media before the start of the series. Say this when you know that you are not going to bowl at him again for a year or so.
Gautam Gambhir – Can’t handle the short ball well. Bowl short.That will prevent him from getting 6 centuries in a row.
Rahul Dravid – Can’t handle the short ball well. Bowl a bouncer at him at your speed (70 mph) and he may duck into it too early.How this man scored 10k + runs is beyond belief. Other teams failed miserably in noticing this *** in the armour.
Sachin Tendulkar – Bounce him out.
Yuvraj Singh – UV hates chin music. But this plan can be put into action only if he comes out to bat.
Murali Vijay – Haven’t seen him bat yet but why don’t we try the short ball to him?
MS Dhoni – Achettup*
Bhajji, Zak, Ishant, Ojha, - Hail Achettup*
For the Bangla batters there’s another highly effective plan.
If they bowl full, hit them for a six.
If they bowl short, pull/hook/cut them for a six. Only weaklings like those sissy Indians leave the short ball. The ball going to the wicket keeper’s gloves should be taken as a personal affront and for every ball left the batter has to pay 10 takas to the team kitty.
One four/ six per over is the required minimum to qualify as a good batter.
This is what Shahadat had to say about the Dravid injury -
Shahadat, who had hit Ricky Ponting on the helmet at Fatullah in April 2006, said Monday's incident was a greater achievement. “Against Ponting, it was with an old ball. It was a new ball today. Even then, it feels good to hit someone like Dravid, who was batting past 100,” he said.
“We had a plan to bowl short, particularly to Sehwag and Dravid, because Indians do not play bouncers very well. We have seen they keep leaving short balls. We did that and almost got them. It was a pity that Dravid's was a no ball,” Shahadat said.
It is a real pity that Shahadat and his other compatriots can unfold dread and terror in the Indian batters’ mind only for one.something innings in this Test. It's a pity that all those wild and over the top jubilations after every Indian wicket may be seen no more in this test series.
* - short of a length for those non believers who don't read serious cricket blogs.